Here is yet another thing I don't get about women...
I was just watching "Ed TV" on mbc2, great movie, anyways, there's this scene where his mother tells him, Ed, that his father was cheating on her, not only that, no, it was "in her bed"!!!
So here's what I don't get, cheating is bad, I totally agree. Married men shouldn't do it. But, when it happens, does it really make any difference where? How is cheating in "your bed" much worse than cheating anywhere else? I mean, here you're with this hot chick, you're both ready to commit sin, where do you go? Her place is a mess, I don't know, its too late to go to a hotel, its going to show up on your credit card report or whatever and its gonna get you in trouble, there are like a million reasons for a man, if he's going to cheat, to do it in a "familiar place"! He knows where the drinks are, he knows where the food is, he's gotta wake up early and go to work and he needs to take a shower, I personally love my shower, I don't like taking showers in a strange bathroom!! There's your clean clothes and stuff... The only problem is, she knows where you live now and if anything goes wrong, you're screwed!
So, ladies, I don't see the importance of "the bed" here, what if he did in on the kitchen floor, is "he did on my floor, the damn bastard?". Is it just the bed or is any place in the house also a "no go zone".
And guys... we gotta stick together, I have always wanted to have "The Guy Code". A manual for such weird social and relationship stuff and what is the standard procedure in such situations. And one important chapter in this book should be "Cheating", cause, women are bending our hands here over this "cheating" thing and I think we need to go UN over them and make a clear definition of "cheating". Is kissing cheating? Is kissing Sandra Bullock cheating? If I had the chance, I don't care who am I going out with, I have to kiss her!! And what about when you're outside the country or the city? What exactly is cheating? Cause we need to end this thing once and for all.
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i agree its of no importance.. but look at it this way..
ReplyDelete"he" did that on "her" bed, with her smell on the pillows.. with all the laughters hanging on the walls..
its not only "he" murdered the relationship, but even murdered the memories..
it might seem very romantic.. yet, you sometimes wish to linger to any illusion,,, even if its fake or got no materialistic meaning,,,
Sometimes the memory is the one thing that might give you the excuse to forgive...
now,, he cheated on her, and erased all hopes of forgiveness..
How cruel..!!
just like imagine you gifted someone something, then found that someone has gifted an other your gift as a sort of affiction..
you might say its all the same, since that somebody showed me no sort of affiction.. however, if the "other" saved ur gift abit longer.. you might fill yourself with a wish "there might be the slightest hope exists"..
wish i made the messege clear :)
It only seems romantic from the point of view of a woman who knows she's being cheated on but still holds a little hope that the marriage or relationship or whatever is going to survive all of this if she hangs in there and forgets. But, when she catches him at their house on their bed it means that all these little things you said didn't matter to him anymore and this is what furiates her...
ReplyDeleteDid you notice that I just explained this to myself now? I now understand! Thank you, but I still believe that a woman who think that shutting up on her husband's cheating to "protect" a marriage that obviously means nothing more to him is only abusing herself. Read my post "ekallemo" for further elaboration on this!
Thank you, but I still believe that a woman who think that shutting up on her husband's cheating to "protect" a marriage that obviously means nothing more to him is only abusing herself.
ReplyDeleteto an extend adham, you might be right. yet, still don't take things as a one directional issue! its not always to preserve ur marrige so you forgive! but you 1st forgive cause you love.
you can hurt me, abuse me.. yet i know deep down you'll be back, its not the normal "you" who did it.. its yet another human sin! we all do sins..
only the one who got a real heart forgives.. and ALLAH forgives.. not because HE wants something from you..
e7m, it might seem philosophical this time. yet its true!
add to your consideration, if there is a fmaily.. then people should sacrifice,, because simply it was their disicion at the very start, and the other partners in the story got no hand in what happened.. so you have to act not in the selfish way of thinking. preserve the marrige and try to forgive, or simply cover up to forget..
to "lasto adri",, first of all nice nickname :-p,, and i must admit that your way of thinking about this issue is very mature and worthy of respect,, i totally agree,,
ReplyDeletefor a husband to commit adultery, to cheat on his wife, he must have stone cold emotions. and i personally believe that once the husband cheats on his wife, things can never be the same, can never return to normal, even if she never found out.. however,, i think that in most cases ,, the wife is responsible for a minor percentage of the incident,, and by that i mean sex life.. arab women, specially egyptians, consider sex something of danger zone with barbed wire all over it, tell me how many married couples talk frankly about their sex life, their sexual needs,, different ways of satisfying the instinct.. how many wives actually educate themselves about the issue to please themselves and their husbands.. why is it such a closed 'code red' zone? i think that if there was healthy communication and established conversation between spouses about sex life,, no one would think of cheating,, i acknowledge that this is not always the case and that many men just cannot control their instinct,, which is disgusting if you ask me,, since when someone can't use his/her brain to control instincts,, they degrade themselves to the animal level,, stronger instinct than mind control is an animal character..
but again to my point,, i think egyptian women and men should have some guts about it, should discuss everything out in the open,, unfortunately, i dont think we have reached this degree of civiliztion yet..
what a shame man!
A.K
The problem is, Ahmad, while we might recognize the problem of the lack of sexual education in Egypt and how it is a major reason behind unstable marriages we still object to sexual education in our schools.
ReplyDeleteSex is such a "red zone" area in our society because of the same prehistoric idea we have about virginity. We are afraid that when we tell our kids about sex they're going to do it. The problem is while sexual education should prevent them from doing so we still tend to use the old method of making them scared of their sexuality, a feeling that will scar both men and women for life and leave them unable to talk about it even with their husbands/wives and causing more problems in life.
Isis here has explained pretty well my idea regarding virginity.